Babysitting
by Somthing9999
Summary: Ron agrees to babysit Andy and April's kid while they are away for the day. One shot.


Today was a run of the mill average day in Pawnee. Ron Swanson poured himself some coffee in his mug and quickly shut himself in his office. After a moment of taking in the unusual silence around the offices he sighed with a big smile on his face. He leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee. Suddenly the door to his office burst open. The sound of the opening door proved to be successful in wiping the smile off of his face. He sat straight in his chair and put the mug down on his desk as he turned to see who was at the door. Andy and April were standing in front of him. Andy smiling cheerfully with his arm around his wife and April looking blankly at Ron with her arms crossed. Andy then cheerfully stated.

"Morning Ron! Wow your mustache looks so good today! How-"

"What do you guys want?" Ron cut him off seriously.

"We need to go out of town for today and we need someone to watch over Ronnie for today." April replied just as seriously.

Almost seven years ago April and Andy had a little baby boy, named Ronald Andrew Dwyer. When he was born they decided to name him after Ron since they both thought of Ron as a father to them, or a lovable grumpy uncle. And also they both had a bet that he would cry when they told him that they were naming their first born son after him. The moment they told him Ron congratulated them for choosing a great name and thanked them for the honor but if they thought that they were going to get him to be an emotional pile of mush with that sentimental stuff they had another thing coming. April won 20 dollars from Andy that day. And even though he wouldn't admit it to them in a million years, Ron really did feel a little chocked up with the gesture.

At first he said no to taking care of Ronnie but after strong persuasion from both April and Andy, Ron relented. April and Andy left to get their son. Ron leaned back in his chair and sighed. Well so much for a peaceful day now that he was saddled with a kid for the day. Even though he saw April and Andy on a daily basis, he had little to no interaction with Ronnie. Well maybe except on his birthday but that was it. He knew very little of the boy. And sooner than desired, April and Andy arrived with Ronnie. Ronnie stood in between his mother and his father. He wore a white t shirt with the words 'Mouse Rat' on them, baggy cargo pants with sneakers and a red backpack on his shoulder. He was an exact copy of Andy, for the exception of his eyes which he got from April.

"Hey buddy, remember be a good boy and do what ever Uncle Ron says alright?" Andy said kneeling down to Ronnie's level and ruffling his shaggy hair.

"We'll come to pick you up at around 8 ok? Now give mommy and daddy a kiss and a hug goodbye." April added.

Ronnie gave April and Andy a kiss and a hug and they left him alone in Ron's office. Ronnie turned to Ron.

"Uncle Ron-"

"Don't call me that. Call me Ron." Ron interrupted.

"Ok. What am I supposed to do?" The 7 year old boy asked.

At that very moment the phone on April's desk started ringing. Suddenly he remembered that April wasn't going to be around to not pick up the phone and not take in his appointments. He looked down at the boy and he had a bright idea.

"Hey would you like to earn 10 dollars?"

"Doing what?" He asked curiously.

"Doing your mom's job."

"Make it a 20 and we have a deal." Ronnie added.

"Deal."

Ron escorted Ronnie to April's desk and explained that he was going to be doing. Ronnie sat in his mother's chair and Ron pushed the phone closer to his reach. Ron quickly retired to his office and left Ronnie alone. After a few minutes in silence and boredom, Tom came in and saw the boy sitting on the desk.

"Hey champ! Whatcha doing here?" Tom asked Ronnie extending his hand out for a low five.

"Mom and dad are out of town. They have to bust out Aunt Natalie out of prison for driving a pick up tuck through an Eagleton church. They left me with Ron for the day and he's paying me 20 dollars to do mom's job."

"Ooohhh... Young money maker. Just like your Uncle Tommy. Hey since it gets awfully boring here I'll let you borrow my hand held game."

"Thanks Uncle Tom."

"No problem little man. I'll go get it for you."

Tom left and quickly came back with a handheld game for Ronnie. Ronnie was really into his fighting video game. Ron would sneak glances at Ronnie when ever he heard the phone ring only to see him pause the game, pick up the phone, and slam it back down. It reminded Ron so much of April. After some hours of playing the game, Ronnie got tired of it. He shut down the game and started doodling on a blank piece of paper. Suddenly a middle aged man in a suit stood before him.

"Hey little boy, I was wondering if Mr. Ron Swanson was in his office?"

Ron looked up worried. He knew that little kids were stupidly honest. And he was Andy's son. Maybe he was going to be as stupidly honest as his father.

"Lo siento, yo no hablo Ingles**_ (I'm sorry I don't speak English)_**." Ronnie answered flatly in Spanish.

The man was slightly taken aback and so was Ron. It seems April taught little Ronnie how to speak Spanish.

"O disculpeme! Queria saber si el Sr. Swanson estaba en su officina? **_(Oh I'm sorry! I wanted to know if Mr. Swanson was in his office.)_**" The man said with flawless Spanish.

"I'm so sorry I don't speak Spanish." Ronnie answered flatly.

The man raised his eyebrows at the boy, feeling very confused.

"Mr. Swanson is swamped at the moment. Come back another time, probably when you make an appointment." Ronnie retorted.

The man turned around and left looking very confused and uncomfortable with Ronnie's attitude. Ron smiled in his office as he saw little Ronnie go back to his drawing. He may be a mini version of Andy but he definitely had some of April in him. One hour passed and suddenly another man was standing before Ronnie.

"Hey little man, I'm looking for Mr. Swanson. Is your mommy and daddy around?"

"My mommy and daddy were killed by a truck..." Ronnie added flatly.

"Oh!" The man added awkwardly.

Ronnie kept staring at the man until he awkwardly backed away.

"Never mind, I'll just come back another day. I'm so sorry..." He stuttered as he bolted out the door.

Yep, he was definitely April's son. Ron made sure that the cost was clear and walked out of his office.

"Nice one Ronnie, here have 20 bucks. And up you know what? Have an extra 10 for that last one." Ron said as he handed 30 dollars over to Ronnie.

Ronnie took the 30 bucks and stuffed them into his red backpack.

"So, are you up for lunch kid?"

"Yeah."

"What is it that you kids like? Pizza? Chicken nuggets?"

"Dad said you make an awesome BBQ steak."

Ron crossed his arms and looked curiously at Ronnie.

"Yeah. You want a steak?" Ron asked.

"Yeah! And if it's not too much can you cook me a steak wrapped in bacon?" Ronnie added jumping out of the chair.

Ron just simply nodded as he tried to contain the immense pride and joy he felt towards the kid.

"Let's get some bacon and we'll fire up the grill..." He whispered simply in amazement as he motioned to the boy to follow him.

If he was ever misfortunate enough to have a son he wished that he would be like Ronnie. It was simply a blast to have him around. He was as fun as Andy and cold and sarcastic as April. He hated to be exposed to kids for long periods of time, but apparently Ronnie was an exception to that. Ron thanked the heavens for the night Andy and April got drunk and made him. Ron made Ronnie and himself a steak wrapped in bacon. After they finished eating, Ron took Ronnie to his office and showed him one of the guns he had stashed on his desk. When Ron handed little Ronnie the heavy revolver it misfired. The shot nearly hit Gerry who was just walking by.

"Whoops... My bad." Ronnie simply said as he shrugged his shoulders.

For the rest of the day Ron kept working in his office and Ronnie kept doing the job Ron asked him to do. After a few more hours it was finally time to go home. Since April and Andy weren't supposed to be back till 8 Ron took little Ronnie to his home. He opened the door and tossed the keys to the table. They then decided to toss the football to each other for a little while, careful as to not hurt themselves or break anything. Ron tossed the ball to Ronnie and he ran backwards to catch it. But as he caught the ball in his arms Ronnie fell back into a table with a glass statue. Ronnie fell down and the statue shattered on the floor. Ron went over to check on the boy.

"You alright?" Ron said as he looked over Ronnie for any serious injuries.

"Yeah I'm ok. That was awesome! Sorry bout your statue though."

Ron looked over to the broken glass statue and shrugged his shoulders.

"Eh, I was going to throw it out anyway. It was a birthday present from my ex. Nothing of value was truly lost. Are you sure you're ok?"

Ronnie just simply nodded. Save for some minor cuts and bruises, he was alright. After that incident they decided to stop playing. Ronnie went to shower and put on the pajamas he had on his backpack while Ron picked up the shattered glass statue. After they were both done they sat down and Ron explained to Ronnie why the current government is full of crap. As they talked they suddenly heard a knock. Ron got up from his chair and answered the door.

"Hey! We're back!" Andy exclaimed.

Ronnie took his backpack and threw it over his shoulder. He walked over to his mom and dad and stood between them.

"Hey buddy. You had fun with Uncle Ron today?" Andy asked.

"Don't call him that." Ronnie said.

"Yeah, don't call me that." Ron added.

"And yeah I had tons of fun." Ronnie answered.

"Well then lets go home." April said.

"Bye Ron." Ronnie said waving goodbye at Ron.

Ron waved goodbye and then dug his hand into his pocket as he watched April, Andy, and Ronnie leave. As much as it bothered him to admit it he had a ton of fun with the kid too.


End file.
